David.....
Why can't everyone be civil and just be friends. Funny how this has happened to both of us. I don't know what to think of it. It's hard for me to wonder what they were thinking that made them defriend us. I'm just going to chalk it up to the necessary evil of past relationships. Not much to add to this subject. Just befuddles me.
Shanita......
I don't like to defriend...I unfollow. But I have found that Facebook stalking is just a means to harass. My "ex" was always all over my page. Commenting, poking, and just being annoying. Sometimes, his Facebook comments were followed by texts. Facebook can also be used to rewrite history or to be real disingenuous. After lying and cheating and other nefarious acts, he would post platitudes on how a good man treats a woman and crap like that. I found it too annoying for this stuff to pop up on my newsfeed. So I started posting pictures of me and my beautiful boyfriend doing all of the things my ex never did for me... such as cooking and washing my car. Finally, I took one of his "good men" posts and commented on how lying and cheating made the comments irrelevant. He defriended me. and frankly I was happy at first. It was like a game of who will blink first.
But once I got some perspective I realized that my behavior was childish. It was an immature, silly and frankly a stupid way to remain engaged. It also had the unwanted effect of empowering the other person. Look, when you have a bad breakup, you have to cut ties. So much of my annoyance at him, so much of the emotional energy I continued to invest in him would have been eliminated if I had just defriended him at our breakup. . . and I wouldn't have looked obsessed, petty and immature.
David....
Shanita, but you've got to admit.... when he defriended you first, you felt pretty good. Childish or not. A primal feeling is just that, a primal feeling.... Once again... he or she that loves the least has the most control.... Hummmmm..... Stay on that premise and cement it in your forehead...
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