Time is my equalizer of hurt.... Even though I pulled the trigger, after my last break up I really suffered. Thinking about her every night - what's she doing, is she thinking about me or who is she dating? I layed awake many nights contemplating her life without me. I still felt guilty for doing it and the hurt was excruciating. Over the past few months the hurt has subsided to a dull roar. I think about her less and less. I have definitely moved on with my relationship life.
But at that present time you feel that you have made a grave error in judgement. Don't forget about karma.... it comes when it wants to... not when you want it to.
Shanita....
After a breakup, I just want to avoid the whole relationship thing. Many women say the same thing I did: "why wasn't I good enough." You take every thing so personally, even the rejection is personal. But sometimes, its just not about you, its about them. But it takes a moment to get there. Like you said time.
David....
Even though you know it is about them, the hurt is still personal. Totally unfair but part of life. Once again, it is what it is. Second guessing yourself can drive your crazy. You have to realize that not everyone is meant to get along. Knowing when to break it off can be perplexing.
Do you cut it short maybe thinking that you didn't give it enough time? Did you put your full heart, soul and mind into the process? Were you even a match in the first place? How many things in common and how many things in the deal breaker category were there? Was there even a frickin chance? So many questions you may ask yourself in the end. Because I'm here to tell you, no matter how deep or shallow your heart was, you still will have to move past the hurt. The hurt of being alone, no more great dinners, no more you and them time and a host of other 'no mores'.
Shanita......
So this is the benefit of being 50, its highly likely you've already experienced heartbreak. In your 20's its oppressive, hopeless and you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
At 50 while the pain is still acute, you know its a process, you know there is light and the situation is not hopeless. You know at the end of the process there is that delicious moment when you just don't care any more. I love that moment.