Shanita........
Seriously, what are we kids? None of us are virgins here, and frankly, if men have hang ups about timing that's their problem. If it affects their desire to continue dating, then I think you dodged a bullet. Steve Harvey says wait like 90 days, or 90 years or some other nonsense. But he has a best seller, two movies, a column in a national magazine. A man telling a woman how to get a man is a whole new vocation and industry for him. To me, however, it feels like you're playing games. If you have to go through these machinations to get a man, I'm thinking the man is not worth getting. We've all been told that men like a challenge, that they are hunters and yada yada yada. Frankly its time they grow up and retire these tired notions.
My feeling is do what you want, with the caveat of watching your relationship expectations. I think there are two important considerations. First, that whatever you do, its your free will, you should never be pressured to do anything you don't want to do. Second, engaging in sexual behavior because you're lonely or feel badly about yourself will only exacerbate the issue. Sex does not solve problems.
I had a relationship with a man that was purely physical from day one. He was my go-to guy for that purpose only. I never made anything more or less of what was between us. So when another relationship started getting serious I told him our fling was over. He was highly insulted by that description and I was taken aback by his response. Months later when we began texting…just checking in…I realized that in the process we had become great friends which the physical aspect was hiding. I had objectified him and could not see him for the great guy he really was. That's the problem with sleeping with someone too early.
For me the issue is my comfort level and how I feel about the man. I'm more about friendship and liking the humanity of a person. After making that kind of connection everything seems to just flow naturally.
David....
One date and you should be able to grab, touch and dip into the booty.... Knock that shit out of the park. Why wait, you have much more years behind you than in front of you. Time is a wasting. Get after it. Besides, you learn quickly if you are sexually compatible or not. No need to waste time...... what I sometimes think but can't write.... hummmmm And yes, some of us are still 54 year old virgins. I know of one specifically. Never had it and he probably never will..... Scary. All the previous thoughts I did subscribe to but now I do not. Guess I grew up.....
90 days my butt. You have to be kidding me. Actually, it takes a while before I can feel comfortable about getting the first kiss. So, that sleep together thing is much later than that. Once again, we have more years behind us than in front of us. Mr. Man will only work for so long. But those dirty old man nursing home stories sometimes negates that attitude. Which one to believe? It's anyone's ballgame....
I agree Shanita, sex does not solve problems, but it is a pretty good quick distraction. But I'm sure ebay is completely altogether different than either match.com or eharmony. The free dating site PlentyofFish has over 88 million members. The sheer numbers should be indicative of the importance of the internet in terms of relaionships..