Shanita......
Just about every relationship I have been in that has ended badly involved infidelity. I was unaware that there was someone else in the relationship, but then behavior changes, my partner became very concerned about how I used our time apart, they became more critical. I'm in a relatively new relationship, and I know he's seeing at least one other person. I respond by seeing other people and now a vicious cycle ensues.
He says he doesn't want me to see anyone else...I find that a hoot. So I am man-sharing willingly. Am I happy, no. I am furious. When I suspected, I was very passive aggressively hostile, now I am openly so. Why am I putting up with it...that is not a simple question, nor is there a simple answer. It really boils down to the fact that I like him, we have fun and we spend a great deal of time together...like Renee Rouso says in Crown Heights, "where ever does he find the time." More importantly, it is a new relationship.
But this is what we have lost. I will not allow myself to fall in love with him. I am not as giving and willing. I look at this relationship as temporary and only for fun and games. This relationship is only a diversion and not a destination.
I am not focused on making this relationship work, but on where it fits my current needs. I am generally a monogamous person, and I am looking for "the one." I just need to make sure this diversion does not interfere with that quest.
David......
Once again this subject escapes me. Love the one your with. At this point in our lives, I can't see trying to juggle two or even three girlfriends. Not to say that subject doesn't stir some deep twenty year old wanted memories.
I'm too old to play that game...... But maybe not. After starting to write this just after Christmas and coming back to it a few months later, I feel that maybe I have thought too hastily. I'm of the thought of having a bunch of girlfriends that are actually friends. Which can be different that actually sharing. Maybe things are different when you share a man'!!!!
How can I make sure I'm number one and not number three on the totem pole? Not to mention the Ghostbusters theme of 'mixing the streams'. May have too many heartaches in the end once the jig is up. A diversion and not a destination... what an interesting concept....