David.....
I have a few friends that have been married more than twenty years. I congratulate those couples because I feel they are the exception and not the rule. With an over fifty percent divorce rate, I give these peeps kudos.
I do get the fact that being together that long takes some give and take. My friend does say it wasn't easy at first but it does get easier as time goes on. Especially when the kids are grown and gone. You end up looking at each other with nothing in common other than the kids that are no longer there. But these positive couples have fertilized their relationship while raising the kids. Getting ready for the change of the guard.
Shanita...
Again not my personal experience, but as an outsider I have noticed some things. First, I am shocked at how many couples are "on the clock." As each child gets closer to graduating from high school their relationship is getting closer to the end. Children in these cases are a buffer for the inevitable. Usually one spouse is feeling neglected, there is no romance left in the relationship, sometimes they are not even friends. I am often shocked when a spouse is "caught off guard" when the other leaves. Its happening to all of their friends and if they are not examining their own relationship their head is in the sand.
Someone once told me that the secret to a long relationship is not falling out of love at the same time. Maybe that is true. Relationships have their ups and downs and successful couples seem to "learn to surf" the waves. They have worked through their various problems and their relationship becomes stronger as a result.
David....
I am surprised too how one spouse is caught off guard. You must be kidding me. There are always signs, they just don't see them.
Shanita....
Or don't care. Some couples have a sense of entitlement when it comes to their significant other...like I OWN you. They forget about that little thing called free will.
David.....
I have seen that ownership thing play out a few times. It never ends up good. What happened to meeting in the middle and working things out? What is more common? A bossy man or a bossy woman? Free will doesn't even have a chance. Chalk this one up to inexperience... Because they come and go all the time.